why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
