We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
