am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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