I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
