turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize