3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
