i was born a porn star she said
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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