The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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