i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
