nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
