Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
