Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
