I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
