i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
