Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
