Plan B is the new Plan A
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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