the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
