i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
