im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
