I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
