I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
