i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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