legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
