last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
