my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
