i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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