I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
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