My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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