I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
