i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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