Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We just shotgunned beers for America
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
