Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize