I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
