Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
