Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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