I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
