can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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