you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
