I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
