How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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