Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
