I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
