how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
