nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
