i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
