woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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