OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
