I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
