you guys were way drunker than both of me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
