Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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