I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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