wanna go halves on a baby?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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