her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
