I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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