I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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