Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Text me some of your sweat
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
