he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
soo... how was my night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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