I faked an abortion last night.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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