I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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