we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
