ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
